Reflections on a year of looking for joy

by Megan

Fall walkies with leia

Fall is my favorite season. All year I look forward to fall and celebrating all the best holidays: my birthday, friendsgiving, and Halloween. I love the changing colours of the leaves and cooler weather. A new season ahead always feels like the time for reflection. 

Each year around my birthday I reflect on what I've achieved in the year behind me and set goals for the year ahead. I've spent most of my adult years heavily focused on academic programs, but when last fall came, I wasn't in school for the first time in years.

I set the intention then to spend the year committed to seeking joy with my new found time. 

Seeking Joy

I found a lot of joy in movement: practices with community, teaching, and the connection it brings to self. I spent the first 150 days of the year moving my body in different ways.

I took many great classes with my business bestie Alana and our amazing community of yoga pals. I ran all winter and joined two run clubs. Our running group (Team Polly) grew this year in both membership and fans.

I ran many races I hadn't before, one in a dinosaur suit, and all for the love of the run. I danced under the stars and into the morning.

in my gym bro era

I tried new things, new studios, and new classes. I was bad at a lot of it, and it didn't really matter because the win was in showing up.

The joy came in showing up for myself, in the activities, and the friends who joined me along the way, for the connection to myself as I moved.

I affirmed the value in doing things for the love of them, and released the need to be good at them. It was a healing endeavor to make movement about joy and not aesthetics. 

Joy also came abundantly from connection.

Joy in making memories as we celebrated holidays, birthdays, weddings, engagements, and even a funeral. 

Meyube <3

With beloved friends who every month gather to eat, play games and laugh.

There's been joy in celebrating our friends and their successes and milestones.

Despite a great deal of success at seeking joy, this year also brought deep loss and challenges. The unexpected death of a close friend changed everything. Suddenly my summer plans of festivals and shows, long runs, and making joyful moments with friends felt worlds beyond my capacity. 

In grief, joy has come to me differently.

Joy comes as gratitude for friends who gave me grace to be where I was. Joy comes in the small moments like picking fresh cut flowers and sneaking the dog in the bed for extra cuddles.

I found joy in the forest among the trees and in feeling the warmth of sunshine on my skin.

In quiet moments with my partner. In watching my dog enjoy a worry free life.

Reflecting on Joy

seeing my favourite band

After a year of seeking joy I've learned a few things: connection to self, community, friends, and family all allow for the creation and transmission of joy.

The reminder that joy is a spectrum to be experienced.

Leia finds joy hunting bugs

For my 38th year, joy showed up in many forms; expansive, simple, fleeting, defiant, collective. None of the joy I found was promised - it had to be searched for, invited in, and shared with intention.

That fun for fun's sake is invaluable, a reminder it's worth it to do the silly thing.

We could probably all benefit from making more time to play and be creative - just because. 

And that regardless of your capacity, joy is always worth seeking.